I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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