The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
