Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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