He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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