your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Less talking, more tequila
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
