He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
