Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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