DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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