I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it hurts more in the daytime
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
