North Korea, Best Korea!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
