sorry about calling you the devil all night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
