She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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