So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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