Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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