Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
