And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
