Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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