tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
