She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
