nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
