My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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