I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
