If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
