Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
