don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
As shirtless as possible
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
