i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
