hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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