is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
