i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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