Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
