Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
