ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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