Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Damn victory sex feels great
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
