My friends, they love my intelligence
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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