Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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