in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize