Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
