I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
