i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Who did Billy Mays play for?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
