He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need to calm my uterus...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
