that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
