I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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