WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
