I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
