Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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