it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
