wrigley field is MILF paradise
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
