Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i love accidental penises.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
