Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
