You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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