So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
